


Miracles

by sherlockpond



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Endverse, Friendship/Love, Implied Relationships, M/M, Men Crying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-20 02:48:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/882055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlockpond/pseuds/sherlockpond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the end and Dean notices there's something between his future self and Castiel. However on further inspection it seems Cas isn't as whole as he tries to convince everyone. In the end Cas just needs a little comfort from his old friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miracles

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> So I finally make it into this fandom, after years of saying that Supernatural was shit, here I am writing fanfiction and getting butterflies when I see Misha’s face.   
> Oh how times have changed.  
> This work is completely imaginary and I own no rights to the show.  
> I wish I owned the rights to Misha’s---cough---cough…nevermind…  
> So yeah, I knew so any and all mistakes are my own, including huge bloody plot holes that I’ve failed to notice and I’m British so sorry for all those Americans who actually can write like Dean and Cas speak because I just guessed some of this shit up.  
> Enjoy my fellow friends- well as much as you can enjoy good ol’ angsty-ness-!

“So what’s the deal with you and, well, future me?” Dean asked stuffing his hands in his pockets.

They were in Cas’ cabin, the sun had gone down and Dean was helping Cas pack for the mission. Cas was still dressed in his blue shirt that complimented his eyes so well and the dark grey jacket was slung over the top. Dean felt strange looking at this new Cas, the way he spoke and moved was all too different for Dean to comprehend. But he had a strange suspicion that something was going on between his future self and the former angel.

“Pardon?” Cas turned from the bag he was stuffing equipment into and looked at Dean, his face written with confusion.

“Well I’m guessing that you’ve got a little bit more going on than damn good friendship, earlier when you saw me I noticed something was different. When you looked at me, I guess, I noticed something in your eyes that I’ve never seen before with you.” Dean said cocking his head to the side, eyes narrowing inquisitively.

Cas sighed and let his hands fall to his sides “Well, I guess that you’re allowed to know as been as he’s you,” Cas paused to pick up a joint from the battered coffee table in the centre of the room and lit it, quickly taking a drag and letting the effects wash over him “we have a complicated relationship, of sorts, I guess you could say,”

“As in Facebook complicated?” Dean added

“No, nothing like that.” Cas sat down and continued to take deep breaths of smoke “when we first got here no-one could relate to what we had seen and done. We only had each other. You were a little unwilling to begin but you soon realised that what we did together, in private, meant that we didn’t have so much stress on our shoulders. We could just talk and get everything else out of our systems without hurting anyone,”

“Like stress relief, one of those squishy balls?”

Cas chuckled bitterly “Well, I was hoping there was a few more feelings than something that clinical, but I suppose if that’s how you see it then, I guess so,”

Dean looked sympathetically at Cas “I’m sorry, it seems over the span of five years my brains gone a little- a lot- off the rails. So how long has it been going on for then?”

Cas exhaled another lungful of smoke “About a year. It all started when I had nightmares, I told you and you said that you were the same. I guess it just sort of escalated from there,”

Running a hand through his hair, Dean turned and looked for a seat, eventually sitting on a rickety chair that looked like it could break at any minute.

Cas looked over at Dean and a small smile graced his lips, it was so strange that Cas had gotten so good at hiding what he really felt, Dean couldn’t tell if the smile was real or fake because the line between was so close. Walking over to a beat-up record player, spliff still hanging from those remarkable lips, Cas pulled out a record from a sleeve that Dean couldn’t quite see.

“I always listen to this when I want to think of the old days,” Cas said, slotting the record onto the turn table and then gently laying the needle on the edge of the record.

Slowly but surely the sound that crackled out had Dean let out a single burst of confused laughter.

“Jefferson Starship? Really?” Dean said, eyebrows raised

“Miracles,” Cas said leaning against a wall and closing his eyes “they do happen, Dean”

Shaking his head Dean got up from the chair and went over to Cas, his eyes snapping open at the sound of movement- this was what the past five years had done to him, nervous at every sound.

“Don’t worry,” Dean said, pulling the joint away from between Cas’ lips and putting it out on a nearby make-shift ashtray “I’d just like to, y’know, have a hug. To apologise for being such a royal dick to you,”

Dean looked at Cas and saw tears shining in his eyes.

“I’m not sure how much longer I can do this for, Dean,” he whispered

“Jesus, what has he done to you?” Dean said, pulling the other man into a hug “he’s broken you. If it wasn’t for the fact that, that bastard looks like me I wouldn’t be able to tell we’re the same person,” he said quietly wrapping his arms around Cas.

The song ended and the two still didn’t move; they stood there, just holding one another. A fallen angel and a lost boy.

Cas buried his head into the crook of Dean’s neck and he felt the cold wet tears that were seeping into his shirt, looking up he saw the time. They only had 15 minutes to get ready.

“Come on, we’d better get some stuff packed or future me is gonna have my ass,” Dean reconsidered his sentence as Cas pulled away, chuckling wetly “figuratively of course,”

Cas nodded, using the sleeve of his jacket to dry his face “Of course,”

They packed in relative silence, each man knowing what was needed without asking the other. Just before they were about to leave the cabin Dean stopped Cas.

“Hey, look, if it turns out that I don’t make it back to say goodbye before Zachariah pukes me back to 2009. I just want you to know that when I go back I’m going to appreciate you so much more, I don’t take you for granted Cas, I know sometimes it might seem that I do but I know that you’re a part of my family just as much as Sam is, whether I like to admit he is or not.” Dean said mildly “no matter what ‘Dick Me’ does or says, I’m going to make sure you don’t end up feeling taken for granted or a spare part. Okay?”

Cas just smiled at Dean, and he knew deep down that this smile was a real smile.

XXXXXX

 

As Cas was being attacked by Croats, he was out of ammo, there was nothing he could do. In the end he threw anything he could find in a vain attempt to prolong his life a little longer. But when that failed he stood still and lifted his arms out and took one last look at his dead friends before closing his eyes and hearing the scuffle of feet as the monsters ran at him and pinned him to the ground.

 As his neck was being pulled apart, the numbness of the attack making the pain feel like an old friend, he thought back to what Dean had said and remembered the song they had listened to only a few, short hours earlier.

_Few ever find in a lifetime_

_But from that very first look in your eyes_

_I knew you and I had but one heart_

_Only our bodies were apart_

_That was so easy, so easy_

_I had a taste of the real world._

Cas smiled weakly, took one last breath, and was gone.

XXXXXX

 Fin.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr, bitches: sherlockpond   
> :3   
> Nx


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